Situation #3: WHAT TO DO ...

         WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE HAS SHITTY FRIENDS – Shitty friends can be categorized in several different groups (emos, douchebags, Nazis etc.), but let’s just narrow it down to a simple “Group of Three Or More People That Really Irritate You”. This becomes a real problem if you don’t like your roommate much either, as the number of annoying people under your roof is at least 3 times worse than you thought it was.

You can solve this problem by retreating to a more private place when the shitty friends are around. You can spend time in your bedroom, go for a walk, go to one of your cool friends’ places, or go grab a doughnut. If you don’t like your room, walking places, any of your friends, or doughnuts, or if you feel like staying in your own house that you pay rent for, there are other options.

Every shitty person has a kryptonite. Pull your resources together so that you’re ready for any angle, and once you’ve identified their weakness, you can control the situation. For example:

• Your roommate has emo friends: “Hey guys! Check out this Jazz Compilation mix I just burned. It’s so chill. You’re gonna love it!”

• Your roommate has douchebag friends: “Hey guys! Check out these complimentary gym passes I just received in the mail. Oh, shit! They expire tonight. Well, I can’t use them, I’m busy. Here, Take em’!”

• Your roommate has Nazi friends: “Hey guys! We’re about to start our Woody Allen marathon! Now who's down for some Annie Hall?”

In this way, you can run your houseguests off while remaining as hospitable as humanly possible. Sit back and enjoy your doughnut in peace.