Situation #11: WHAT TO DO ...

         WHEN YOUR ROOMMATE WON'T DO DISHES – This is probably the most common complaint that roommates have of their counterparts. General cleanliness is mostly a matter of your internal clock clashing with another’s. Someone wants the dishes done immediately, and someone else doesn’t mind leaving them for a little bit, while they presumably let their meal digest while checking Facebook or Twitter.

The problem is that this digestion period can last anywhere from 30 min. to two weeks (two weeks is typically the cut-off point due to there not being any clean dishes to eat off of anymore). This is quite bothersome for you, not just because of the dish mountain, but because you also will run out of eating utensils.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in this situation is to actually do the dishes yourself. Your roommate is behaving this way because they didn’t get proper parenting, and subconsciously they will start to expect you to do the dishes for them.

First off, you absolutely have to sit down and talk with them and try to come up with a dishwashing policy that works for both of you. This first conversation usually goes over fairly well, but if it goes to well, they will probably continue to be the dirty, lazy piece of shit they’ve become comfortable with being. Being dirty and lazy is a skill that took many years to acquire, and will not likely be undone by your need for a clean sink. So have a few talks and if none of them work ...

Social Networking: Since your lazy roommate seems to enjoy their social networking more than keeping the sink clean, why not include this hobby into your approach.

While lazy, dirty people are totally comfortable being lazy and dirty at home, they feel the need to show how grown-up they are around friends. They will go out of their way to clean things up at a friend’s place, and are very sensitive about being called out in front of their friends. You can use this to your advantage by taking a picture of the dishes when they are left in the sink, then posting them to your preferred social networking site for ALL of their friends to admire. Be sure that you tag them and/or write a nice caption such as:     

                                                                                “Mt. Dishuvius!

                                                     “The Dishes of Madison County”

         “There’s been a 17-dish pile up reported on 85 southbound.”

Keep it light and fun, something that says, “Hey, just kidding, but seriously, do the damn dishes every once in a while.” Make sure that you resort to this method only if you have several conversations with no results as this is very passive aggressive and potentially socially damaging.

Another great method to try is not having a roommate.